Recently, I have been thinking about flaky people quite a bit! Flaky individuals are indeed a turn-off. On the surface, they seem indecisive, opportunistic, selfish, and irresolute – none of which being an attractive trait for social, or even, personal life. In depth, they want to feel comfortable by being overly protective of their time and space. They want to contact you on their own terms. They love one-way and inconsequential communication methods such as text messages, voice mails, and emails – because none of these enforces anyone to provide an answer to anything.
Some might assume decisive individuals to be assertive. Some might expect flaky people to be undone – but the fact of the matter is that when things do not feel normal, the rules of everyday life do not apply. In such situation, friendships fade away, quality people disappear, and the crust of the society blossoms in your life. For some being a flake-off has become a part of who they are, and even though it hurts them, it has nothing to do with others. If you’re flaky, more often than not, people will give you your space and they see you when they see you, or they tell you about it and if it doesn’t get better, they don’t really bother associating with you – and usually without them doing anything, you kind of drop out of their lives because that’d leave room for meticulous people!
I believe, flaky individuals are certainly wrapped up in something concerning self … the question is: what? I don’t know! It could be a different reason for each person. But I do know that these individuals have the following assumptions in the back of their heads:
- I know people will be disappointed, but they love me enough to come back
- It’s ok if my disappointed friends go away, I’ll find new people
This way of thinking is just tedious and inapt. The premises of these arguments are: I’m divine, loveable, and I continue to be one. Or even worse: disappointing others doesn’t bother me.
… Oh boy! If that’s the case, get ready to take pleasure in the company you keep in the empty moments!
It’s funny you blogged about this very topic at the same time I feel I’m suffering from total flakeness. It’s definitely something I’m not proud of and something I feel super badly about when I have to change plans or cancel, HOWEVER, you made some excellent points. What’s funny is… there are certain people who have communicated their expectations of me. I NEVER flake out on them or I know I could lose them as a wonderful friend and no flake off reason is worth that. But I find it tragic the rest of those who have not communicated these expectations, I don’t honor the same way. Or maybe those other people are more accepting. Some have a tad bit of flake offness themselves.
I also think about how I feel when I am encountered by a flake off. I’m not bothered. And perhaps as you pointed out, I get the very fact, it’s nothing personal though many would disagree with that statement.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your insightful perspective on something I had to talk about recently. I think for me personally, I JUST NEED TO DO BETTER TIME MANAGEMENT haha!! And with that I need to account for my own time for myself as well. As selfish as that might be, that is part of who I am.
Now LET’S GO MAKE SOME PLANS and hang out sometime soon! And no… I won’t flake 🙂