The term “my life” in a leading sentence always sounds oxymoron to me.

 … she wasn’t born into privilege or wealth. She was good looking but not beautiful. Nobody would have picked her out at her young age and said she was destined for success or greatness in any realm of life. She was the last that anyone listened too. She never led, but also, she barely followed the trends. She wasn’t cool in a way of common non-sense .

She did ok in school. She graduated from college with mediocre grades. Deep down she liked Mr. right who was fine looking but not handsome enough to not need being interesting. He has some body fat and does ok in sports, but not good enough to not warm the team bench. His body has a unique equanimity of one thick upper body with two legs that are like two columns attached to his rear end. His presence around other females sparks no jealousy in her. After college they got married, and settled in a house with two garage door in the suburbs of the city. They now have two kids and they entertain themselves by BBQ’ing during the weekends and going to ball games. Their lives can be categorized as conventional. Kind of as cliché as it gets. Yet, they feel (and are being viewed by others as) profoundly happy. Everyone who met them sensed they live blessed lives.

They’re not interesting as a family unit. When they’re happy, they don’t need to let others know that they’re happy. Advertisement of happiness has no place in their sense of happiness. She loves him. He loves her. They have sex a few times a week –even in the morning when the kids are sleeping and before breakfast. She is an honest wife and has a solid character defined by a solid set of values she wouldn’t compromise on. She doesn’t care what her analyzing brain tells her. She doesn’t feel marrying him took away all other unseen and unproven options in the Love-Marketplace. She feels. She doesn’t run away from her emotions, and more importantly, understands that emotions are required in the process of decision making. She knows that bit she can never put it to words or explain it but she lets her emotions assign values to the pros and cons of different options. She still doesn’t think the job is done, and she has a healthy fear of the unseen future. But she’s adamant and sure that she can’t control much in the way of life. So she so unconsciously keeps her values and beliefs intact. She represents cultural continuity in social settings. She does let the world win every now and then…

The element of control falsely dismisses the role of emotions in decision making. “my life” starts from emotions, needs, and wishes and tries to structure reason to lead a series of complex and interdependent events (a.k.a., life) towards a specific direction. This is so painfully and stupidly the backward way! One should respect emotions and feelings and set them free to assign values to available options (a.k.a., decision making).

Sadly, it turns out it is a serious skill to turn opinions to decisions, and decisions to results. The problem with the mindset of “my life” is: it burns the very food it tries to cook.